I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
