Sry I called you an 8
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
