it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
