Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
