"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
