I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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