what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
