you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
