We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
