those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
