Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I had to cum in my sink.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize