I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
