it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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