butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
