I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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