what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just want nice things and good sex
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
