You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
