I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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