Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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