Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
well most of my day revolves around power hour
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize