The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
