NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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