so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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