i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm passing your future prison.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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