i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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