good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
