I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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