and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
