escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
