Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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