if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
