If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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