We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
