Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
