I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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