It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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