I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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