I bet he comes in French.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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