SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
