yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
