Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
