but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize