ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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