God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
