I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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