you win again, gameday.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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