Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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