is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Randomize
