brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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