I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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