I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
