It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
