is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
