ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
