How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
