sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
