I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
