I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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