Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry magfjghw hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(906): View more from Michigan

Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow

(248): View more from Michigan

Perfect. Like where your heads at

(906): View more from Michigan

By relax I mean have sex

Fav 2 2700 1048
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind

Fav 23 4549 1079
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me

Fav 12 905 3657
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?

Fav 7 4190 719
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

i used baking grease as lip gloss

Fav 18 803 5719
share tweet
(805): View more from California

my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.

Fav 43 1820 14812
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(347): View more from New York

she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.

(1-347): View more from New York

ofcourse you didnt.

Fav 6 4845 1253
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.

Fav 8 1022 1799
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."

Fav 0 41 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT