I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
