I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
